Talk It Out

Happy New Year ALL! To start the 2024 New Year let’s talk something out! And yes at one point I did dye my hair fire engine red 😜 As I mentioned, words can become jumbled in my brain at times. Even now, as I’m beginning to write out this post, I’m pausing at about every 2-3 words to make sure what I’m saying makes sense. But I do this with everything I write. And I sometimes I talk it out. My family and my partner have caught me at times talking to myself because as I’m figuring things out, I sometimes talk.

The places I’ve seen this manifest the most was in school. Whenever I had a paper to write I almost had to give a disclaimer before turning in a written assignment. This didn’t always go over well. In school, if I could, I would pull my teachers aside and discuss my ideas for the paper. One instance in particular will always stand out to me:

I was in high school and writing a paper on the book “To Kill A Mockingbird” by Harper Lee. (this was one of my favorite school books I’ve read). The task was to take character trait from different characters (anger, joy, etc.) and comparing them. But I had realized you could apply that same idea with just one main character, Atticus. You can take his many roles he has (father, friend, professional) and how he faces them. I started writing this paper and I was able to have my teacher at the time read my early progress. They didn’t understand. So I sat down with them and explained how you could compare Atticus’ different roles. They told me they had never thought of that with how many years they had given this assignment and encouraged me to keep going.

Had I not made my case, talked it out, and been given complete trust to push forward, I’m not sure I would have done well with that assignment.

Now as I do work related assignments, or even this blog, I read it out loud to make sure I understand it before putting it out into the world. If I have to write emails for work, I read them to my partner before sending to make sure I didn’t loose the focus of that email. You could say I appreciate the reassurance I get from reviewing things with someone. I think when you spend childhood trying to say what you feel and struggling at times to literally speak, it makes it difficult to trust that things from your brain make sense, unless you talk it out.

With this blog I’m reading it myself and talking it out loud to myself. And I’m really crossing my fingers and hoping it makes sense to you all out there. These posts are probably the first time I’m writing something “perfectly” (not really lol) and not having someone proof read it. And it’s the first time I’m trusting my brain to make complete sense. Does it? Let me know!